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When he’s ready to socialize, he’ll do so without any prompting. “My first year in college, I fell madly in love with this girl named Elyse. I couldn’t imagine ever being with anyone else, and I thought she felt the same way about me. I used to spy on her around campus; some nights I’d stand outside her dorm just to see if she walked in the front door with anybody.
“One day, out of the blue, she told me that our relationship was getting too serious, and that she wanted to date other people. My friends couldn’t stand to be around me, and I don’t blame them!
” They are also genuinely curious about their parents’ courtship and marriage (“Mom, did you fall in love with Dad at first sight?”) and, if applicable, divorce (“Dad, how can two people love each other for years and years, then stop being in love? Having an imperfect romantic résumé yourself does not disqualify you from initiating this conversation.You might say, “I haven’t always made the wisest decisions when it comes to love, but I’ve promised myself that the next time I become involved with someone special, I won’t settle for anything less than a healthy, honest relationship.At what age are children old enough to date “solo”? “There’s an enormous difference between a fourteen- or fifteen-year- old and a sixteen- or seventeen-year-old in terms of life experience,” he says. While parent-teen conversations must encompass the hormones, hydraulics and other biological aspects of love and attraction, equal time should be devoted to thoughtful discussions about love as the most powerful and heartfelt of all human emotions.You might add or subtract a year depending on how mature and responsible your youngster is. Love is a subject of unending fascination for adolescents.
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“The number-one benefit is safety,” says the father of two grown children.